Thread:Trihexa/@comment-1359322-20150607045136

Hi, just here to discuss on your summary on Episode 10. You need to avoid the following when writing a summary.

In the first scene, Azazel requests to speak with the Sekiryuutei himself, not Issei (who is unconscious and in a coma due to the effects of his incomplete Juggernaut Drive). It then skips to a new scene showing Sirzechs Lucifer speaking through a hologram to the ORC and a few extra people about Issei's current condition.

Try to avoid writing scenes, since it's a summary not a point of view, try to use words to keep the wording feel like a story. Look at Episode 9, try to write something like that.

Then, it shows Asia and Issei training for their three-legged race, repeatedly stepping in rhythm by saying "ichi ni" which translates to "one two".

Why is there a need to express what they were saying and even a translation.

Once the two make it downstairs, they wait for the back up to arrive, and sure enough, it does. The real Issei, Koneko and Gasper appear. Issei questions the fake version of himself, before going to attack in his normal base form - instead of fighting, the clone makes Rias use her own demonic power as a shield which electrocutes Issei as he punches it. He goes again and fails, being sent back on his butt.

What's with the bolded section? As i said it's a summary not your point of view, please don't write things that way.

In another scene that appeared either after or before the previous one, it shows the fake Issei going up to Rias and comforting her slightly. They talk to each other, and then the fake Issei smiles and brainwashes Rias.

Seriously are you aware of what you're writing?

Long story short, please refrain from writing something like the one you did again. If you're not sure how to do one, then just avoid doing one. Thank you. 